I look at the things in my life, especially in the past three months, and see how much I have grown and changed as a person.
Three months ago, I had just started seeing this awesome girl who has totally captured my heart.
We were just getting to know each other, the shine was still super shiny. Nothing but the best side was shown.
Three months later-
I’m even more in love than I was then, the shine is still super shiny, and we’ve seen bad, good, crazy… the whole gamut of things. And the shine is still super shiny, the love is just as abundant and consuming…
My heart has been captured and held hostage and I don’t mind in the least.
Yes, I know I’m being sappy.
Yes, I know that it doesn’t necessarily sound like me.
But I am consumed.
Consumed by the depth and breadth of my feelings, of my love, of the entrancing nature of Amanda just being herself.
I find myself staring at her whenever possible because she captivates me.
I sometimes wonder what I did so incredibly right to deserve someone as incredible as her in my life.
Because I am so incredibly lucky to have her.
She moved in with me yesterday.
Long story that led up to that, but she’s moved in.
We’ve not spent a night apart since the second week we were dating, so it was almost like we were living together anyways, but now it is official.
Last night we were on the couch watching Downton Abbey, enjoying the snow falling, and just cuddling. And I kept finding myself watching her instead of the tv, because it felt so incredibly perfectly right. We were there on the couch in OUR apartment, watching tv together, cuddled up under the blanket, and soon enough we would go to bed in OUR bedroom, and sleep in OUR apartment for the first time since it became OURs versus mine.
In the past, with former relationships, I always had a small voice in the back of my head that kept me wondering if everything was as rose colored as my glasses made me believe it was.
There is no voice.
Not with her.
I never doubt the intensity of my feelings, or her love for me.
Despite the fact that it can seem like we are moving really quickly, it never once has felt rushed, it has always felt like this was how it was meant to be.
I can’t ever tell her enough how much I love her. And those three little words don’t do justice to my feelings. And despite being a writer, I can’t find words even close to adequate.
There are some aspects of our relationship that many of my friends and family don’t understand, but those are some things that I have discovered are essential not only to our relationship, but to who I am as a person. (More on this at the page with the people and the things.) And she introduced me to a whole community of people who DO get it, and who have embraced me completely as family.
I find myself doubly lucky.
Not only did I get the girl, I got her community as well.
And despite all of the changes that might seem drastic and unconventional that many of my friends might see as unlike me, I know that I am growing into who I have always meant to be.
And I have her to thank for that as well.
She has given me the room to grow, to explore, to be myself. She never judges, she never tries to make me into something that I am not, and she loves me, just as I am.
We’re both incredibly lucky to have found each other because just as we are, we drive the other one fucking crazy and have fallen in love with each other, dorkiness, geekiness, kinkiness, and nerdyness and all.
There are no rose colored glasses…. because everything already looks pretty damned shiny without them.
The picture I saw from http://www.mirandasuri.wordpress.com today –
got me thinking, and inspired this post. So thanks Miranda. In this case, I’m not sure it was exactly 1000 words, but definitely inspired many words.