A Part of You

So those bad things that are supposed to come in threes? Try sixes when you’re part of a couple.

Things 1 and 2 – Both myself and Amanda are super stressed with our work situations. They’re both jobs that we enjoyed when we started and are just upping our stress levels and frustration levels even more.

Thing 3 – My roommate. As much as I love him, he’s a bit irresponsible some times. He borrows my car on Monday Tuesday and Wednesday nights when he works as a bouncer for the night shift. Normally this is just annoying, but when I found out that he wrecked his grandma’s car this last weekend, it makes me far less interested in letting him borrow my car anymore. He also went off the grid this weekend, causing his mom to call me and freak me out about him being missing and then nobody ever thought to let me know that he wasn’t in fact missing or dead and that everything was all right. Also in terms of letting him borrow my car, I was hoping I’d be able to pick Amanda up from her interview tomorrow night when she got done around 11pm. (It’s a working interview to be a line cook at a fine dining restaurant). But of course without my car, I can’t do that. So she’s going to have to find a place to park her car for what might be a decent amount of money that she really shouldn’t have to spend just to park her car.

Thing 4 – Amanda’s job interview tomorrow (Tuesday) is stressing her out even more, and there’s nothing I can do to help. The interview itself isn’t a bad thing, but the accompanying stress is, as is my inability to do anything to make it better for her, to calm her down or assuage her fears… I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling like there’s nothing I can do. I know, I know, I know… just being there helps, just being myself… and I’m more than happy to do that, but I feel like I need to actually DO SOMETHING too. And beating the shit out of the people who’ve caused her this stress isn’t something that would be actually helpful.

Thing 5 – She just told me that she has a hole in the suede of a pair of shoes she bought back in December. Like two months ago December.

Thing 6 – Charter, my internet provider is trying to fuck me over on billing. I spent over an hour talking to two different customer service reps, being calm but forceful, trying to understand why I’m being charged for January twice. Still don’t quite understand it, but I came to an agreement with them on what I’m actually going to pay them.

And add on all of this just the average stresses of all the shit going on with me trying to deal with my past relationship demons and ghosts, Amanda and I still working on meshing two lives together (and all of the talking-good talking, but a lot of it- that goes along with that). And just a general lack of sleep that accompanies a new relationship… and we’re both pretty frazzled and fried.

It also appears that spending so much time on my computer for work, and possibly just sleeping on it funny, has done something to my neck. It hurts like a lot and I can’t pop it to make it feel better. Here’s hoping the aspirin I just took will help with that at least somewhat.

And here’s also hoping that when I get home from work to pick up the roommate before going to hang out at the cafe where Amanda is working tonight, that the roommate is actually ready to go. This is doubtful, but I can still hope. Because I really need a hug from my incredible girlfriend, and I know she needs one from me too.

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